The Fan Voice: "Reflections On Pain"

By Live or Die Magic | June 12th, 2009

I had this really great write-up ready to post today. I was writing it last night as I was sitting in the media area before, and even during the game. It was this really positive piece about the O-Rena and how great it looked and how much excitement there was surrounding it. I thought the piece would be good counterprogramming to a write-up recaping the game or providing stats, etc. But as the game ended, I immediately realized that I could no longer go with that piece.

It didn’t include enough pain.

Pain, a deep numb pain, is what I felt at the end of Game 4 and is what I still feel now, many hours later. I feel the need to write about this pain for this reason: every other Magic fan is feeling this pain too. We may handle the pain differently – some of us deny it, some of us sit and wallow in it, letting it affect all aspects of their lives, some of us turn it into motivation for doing something constructive. Then there are those like me. I want to feel this pain and acknowledge it, because this pain can be just as important as the incredible joy that we have already felt so many times this season. It might even be comparable in magnitude to the joy of winning a fourth game in a Finals series. The pain means that I care, it means that I have placed value on this experience. It also means that I will feel something truly special when, hopefully one day, I get to be on the other end.

After the game, I sat in the press conference room for every interview – Phil Jackson, Stan Van Gundy, Hedo Turkoglu, Trevor Ariza, Derek Fisher, Kobe Bryant, and Dwight Howard. I didn’t speak; I barely moved. I realized that with the exception of the Magic players, and staffers, no one in the room was as crushed by the loss as I was. Media members have the need to keep themselves at arms length from these events, at least emotionally, so that they can tell their objective stories. Seem strange doesn’t it? I don’t have that problem. Being a Magic fan first and foremost, I simply need to provide my admittedly biased perspective as a Magic fan. I say “simply,” but it is times like these when it is as hard as anything I can think of doing.

On the drive home from the O-Rena, I turned the radio off and just sat in silence and reflected. Getting away from the scene didn’t help with the pain much. Perhaps if I actually owned any “emo” music, I might have listened to it, maybe.

When I walked into work at 7:30 AM this morning – bleary-eyed, shuffling in – I passed multiple co-workers, all of whom realize I’m the biggest Magic fan in the building, and they all gave me that head tilted to the side “are you going to be OK” kind of look. You’d have thought I’d lost a family member the way they were acting. But it speaks to how much this incredible Finals run has swept up the people in this city. The average person who may not have paid much attention to the team before April suddenly caught up and enjoying this experience as much as a 15 year season ticket holder. Here’s another great example. I was supposed to have a dentist appointment at 7 AM this morning. Realizing how late I’d be at the O-Rena and how difficult it would be to make that appointment, I called yesterday to reschedule. When I quickly explained what I did with the Magic and why I needed to reschedule, the dentist receptionist pulled the phone away from her ear and yelled to her co-workers “Hey, this guy writes for the Magic and says we can all come to the arena!” Cheers ensued. I mean, hell yeah! It’s that kind of excitement!

But it is that heightened excitement that carries you up that steep precipice but doesn’t prepare you for the long fall. That long fall that ends in pain. I’m going to take my pain home with me this weekend and see how long it lasts. Considering how much sleep I need, it probably won’t last long. Talk about small blessings... at least in a dead sleep, you don’t feel pain. Speaking of sleep...if the NBA is a spectator sport, why the hell do I feel so exhausted? Is anyone else dealing with this? It has been mentally, physically, and emotionally exhausting, and that’s after a win! A good Magic buddy of mine, let’s call him “John,” said to me: “I really do stress all these games more than I should... and it's been well over a month now of insanely stressful evenings. All day yesterday I was wishing there wasn't a game. And before the game started I didn't really want to watch it. It's like 3 hours of high blood pressure.”

He nailed it. I was literally shaking during the 4th period and overtime. I’m sure my blood pressure was up. As fans, we hang so much emotion on the outcome of the games – imagining the feeling of victory – “if we can just make this one free throw” – that it becomes almost a daunting task to sit comfortably through a game. I suppose this might be why spectator sports and alcohol/beer sales go hand in hand!

But as tough and as grueling as this all might be at times. I am quite sure that not one of us would trade it for the alternative. After all, we all know what the alternative is because it has been the reality of Magic Land for far too long. There have been two schools of thought for how to view where the Magic find themselves in 2009: there is the Dan Marino “take advantage of the moment, you might not ever get back” school of thought; and there is the “hey, our window opened a season or two early and we have plenty of time” school of thought. Both of them have their merits, and frankly, I don’t see how any fan who experiences any emotional anguish when watching his or her favorite sports team can fail to utilize both options. See, we have enjoyed a pretty special run this season, and while it would be great to capitalize on it by getting a title “early,” I also see a team and a coach that are primed to do even more damage next season. Questions need to be addressed during the offseason, but there is no reason to think that the players who remain cannot be an even great team next season. The point is, hope springs eternal, especially with sports, or else there wouldn’t be any Cubs fans.

So, yeah, we’ve been rooting for these guys for 8 months now, but we have at least one more game to go. I plan on enjoying a relaxing two days off, and much like the Magic players, I am going to leave everything in the O-Rena on Sunday night. At the end of Game 5, my heart will be spent. The question is whether or not a defibrillator will be needed.

This message was not subject of approval by the NBA or the Orlando Magic. The views expressed in this blog do not necessarily reflect the views of the Orlando Magic or the NBA, but solely the writer.

It hurts!

Pretty sure the grand majority of Magic fans, at least long time ones, echo your sentiments, LOD.

Last night, the arena looked absolutely electric, more so in the 4th. Everyone there wants it so bad, as opposed to the morgue that is the Staples Center, the spoiled Lakers crowd, which sits for the first 46 minutes and stands for the final two like it's mandatory.

Being the optimist that I am, I see the Magic getting back to the Finals relatively soon, with only Boston (though they'll be healthy) and Cleveland standing in the way, but I can also recognize that things can happen between now and then. I just hope we've realized how fragile this opportunity really is.

Beautiful piece.

Even with my phone blowing up with "LAKERS!!! **** YA!! MAGIC SUCK!!!" text's from all the Laker fans I know after the game, I was calm and thought that I would actually be ok, then when I was about to turn the tv off they flashed a shot of Fishers smiling mug and that's when I lost it..

My phone is shattered now because I threw it against the wall in a teary-eyed rage, but at least the text messages will stop..

I still dont think we're done in the finals yet. We need to win sunday, take it back to LA and try to steal game 6. Game 7 anything can happen.

Pain is over for me, time to get pissed and take out the Laker on Sunday. Coming back from 3-1 is near impossible but if this team has any pride they do not want the Lakers winning here and celebrating on our home court.

The last three games have come down to one play either way, time to put a hurting on the Lakers and put the pressure to earn the championship on their home floor.

Good read and sums up my exact feeling when pietrus shot that ball all i could hear was my sister screaming at the tv with that high pitched shriek of WHAT!!! WHAT WAS THAT!!!

... then i realised she lives in North Carolina and that that noise was me...

SO i am going to take out some frustration and pent up hostility on the volleyball court at my church tomorrow night, and your welcome to join me LOD.. as a matter fact anyone that wants to get the frustration out can, but i know how you feel LOD!!

LOL...i cant wait till sunday though!

I feel you, I really do.
The game finished at 6:30 AM here, the sun was already up and there was no way to go to bed. I was hurting too bad.
So, I'm sleepless in the last 40+ hours, and the day has been awful. But tonight, while working with the last inch of strenght in my body, I've finally realized that I couldn't do anything to change it.

The pain is finished now, and it remains only the ultimate task. We've been trough very difficult times this season, but nothing like this. Nothing to lose, put our heart on the field and take it like 3 NCAA consecutive finals.
Is not he Magic that have to win three games, it's the Lakers that still have to win one.

There's only hope from now, but I need some strenght to recognize it more... goodnight to all!

I walked into the place I just started working at beginning of May and one of the managers walked by me and asked if I needed a hug. She is also a big Magic fan and it just made me think about how funny it is that someone I barely know knows enough to try and make a joke to lighten the mood. I guess that helps some when you have a game that kicks you in the crotch as hard as this one did. It's also why I have a new appreciation for the Laker fans I ran into that were far more subdued in their reactions than their Philly and Boston counterparts.

As I drove home at oh my god o'clock in the morning Thursday my wife asked if I was ok and all I could say was "**** we were so close." Most games I get pissed but this one aside from a few bad calls was on us. After thinking about that I find a little comfort in knowing that because it was our fault I think we will come with a greater effort in the next game and should we lose this series this team and Dwight in particular will come back breathing fire next year. (Dork alert) In the immortal words of Obi Wan, "If you strike me down, I shall become more powerful than you could possibly imagine."

As a Magic fan since the first game,i felt so empty inside.I wish they wouldn't come out and get us worked into a frenzy because they are playing so well,but then come out after half time and let us down,so we fall with heavy hearts.The article says exactly how i have felt to.

quote:

Originally posted by Marc Acres 3:16:
should we lose this series this team and Dwight in particular will come back breathing fire next year. (Dork alert) In the immortal words of Obi Wan, "If you strike me down, I shall become more powerful than you could possibly imagine."

Imo, there are a lot of surface factors that account for "playoff experience", but this is the essence of it.

Those surface factors are simply how this drive manifests itself.

With that said, I thought Orlando demonstrated that hunger for the first time in game 4, & was poised to shatter the learning curve...